DOWRY - An Unnecessary Evil...

DOWRY - An Unnecessary Evil ...

WAR AGAINST DOWRY

It was a few hours to dawn and Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) had given his first call against tyranny. “Verily the truth has come” whispered Sumaya (A.S), the mother of Ammar bin Yasir (A.S) & the then first martyr of Islam. “When my oldest sister was born” she flashed back with horror and grief in her voice “My father buried her deep into the dust. What shame was being the father of a girl going to bring to him!  When my second sister was born, he did the same to her too. Then when I was born….he ran screaming out of the house, crying “I cannot do this for the third time!”. Listening to this her husband Yasir (A.S.) said thoughtfully “But Sumaya…this is our tradition”. At this Sumaya (A.S.) screamed with extreme pain in her voice “This is NOT a tradition! It is BEASTLINESS!!” and her voice echoed several times in the dark room, marking the beginning of the spread of Islam.

Verily, they are these “traditions” on which countless arguments and debates are on. Traditions of burying female newborns in Arabia & burning to death of women categorically declared as ‘witches’ in Europe in the past; ‘Sati’ & balding of widows in India; traditions of ‘Karokari’, ‘Vatta Satta’ & marrying to Holy books in the interior Sindh; Verily, the list of atrocities against the daughters of Eve seems never ending. However, the spread of education & awareness wiped out many such evils from several places. Then the era of industrialization made its effects felt throughout the world. The civilized world rose voice against many such practices, pushing them deep in the remote areas. However, even today, there exists an evil that is practiced by even the most educated elements of the Asian society – Dowry.

DOWRY- An ‘ARYAN’ Custom

Dowry and Aryan Custom

Dowry or ‘Kanyadana’ is a Hindu custom. “Kanyan” means daughter, “dana” means gift. It was practiced by the Aryans. The more land they conquered, the more they brought their religious customs. Since this convention was practiced by the dignitaries of Hindu Upper Class and the pioneers of Hinduism in Asia, the Aryans, giving a handsome amount dowry gradually became a status symbol. In those days, apart from giving the wedding dowry, parents also had to give the same amount of dowry each time their daughters visited them. Thus daughters usually never returned to their previous homes, once they got married.

Ever since its initiation, no one has been able to stop the tenants of this malicious custom from spreading throughout most Asian societies. Even today, giving dowry is a mandatory part of the wedding ceremony.

Heinous Crimes & Core Shaking Dowry Related Statistics-

Software Engineer Killed for Dowry

The invention of Ultra Sound technique for medical diagnosis promoted a heinous crime in India- female feticide. Researchers in India for the Lancet journal said prenatal selection was causing the loss of 500,000 girls a year.  Their research was based on a national survey of 1.1m households in 1998. Alarmingly, this figure continues to increase! In most countries, women slightly outnumber men, but a separate research for the year 2001 showed that for every 1,000 male babies born in India, there were just 933 female babies. Once again, the chief reason investigated was dowry!  Many parents found guilty of killing their own daughters confessed that having to give enormous amounts of dowry to girls upon their weddings was one of reasons they planned to get rid of them once and for all. Strange! Isn’t it? They very well have the courage to take an innocent life, but don’t find the courage to say ‘NO’, when it comes to dowry.

Moreover, in India there are close to 15,000 dowry deaths estimated per year. 7,618 dowry deaths were registered in 2006, followed by 8,093 cases in 2007 and 8,172 in 2008. Please also note the fact that it is estimated that not even 5% of dowry deaths are reported. Out of the ones that are, most are disguised as suicide or accidents. Hence culprits get away anyway. Even though dowry has been illegal in India since 1961, there has been no reduction in this menace.

ECOCOMIC IMPACTS OF DOWRY-

Investment on Dowry V/S Education

Dowry is one of the most leading causes of poverty & discomfort in Asia. Many families start collecting dowry items from the time baby girls are born. This ranges from simple spoons & crockery items to expensive furniture & electronics items. Valuable dresses are brought for not only the bride but her in-laws too; not even bed-sheets & pillow covers are looked over. Well this is what poor families have got to give. Rich and middle class may even give motorcycles, cars, flats and plots.

The purchasing power of parents significantly decreases when they spend so much of their income on dowry. This tremendously affects the standard of living and economic growth of parents with too many girls, and branches into even worst setbacks. Since women usually constitute a larger portion of the population, economical progress of any country greatly depends upon their education & well being. Spending so much on dowry means having nothing left to be spent on education. This is one of the reasons why even in the 21^st century, South Asian countries have an overwhelming number of women with no formal education. Rich or poor, all give dowry. If they spend this much of wealth on their girls’ education, just imagine what a world of change can that result in!

Another curse of dowry is the alarming dependency ratio. When the parents don’t educate their daughters, they don’t work & have to then be fed by their brothers or father. Thus people prefer sons over daughters, simply for a reason created by themselves! This fact was pointed out by the Former President Musharraf when asked on poverty. He argued that the best was being done, but how could poverty be completely eliminated from a country where “1 brother feeds 5 sisters”?

Muhammad Yunus Nobel Prize winner 2006
stands against dowry practices in Bangladesh.

Muhammad Yunus, the 2006 Nobel Peace Prize winner declared on CNN, during the prize receiving ceremony in Oslo, that poverty could be completely alleviated from Bangladesh by 2030 via his Micro Credit Loan technique. Further to this he added that his scheme mainly concentrated on women prosperity and aimed to catch ‘poverty by throat’. Yunus gives loans to his customers only on six binding conditions. Two of which are:

• Neither Will You Take Dowry From Anyone.
• Nor Will You Give Dowry To Anyone.   

‘MEHR’ or the ‘Groom’s Dowry’-

Something that is even stranger, is to ask why do Muslims & Christians give dowry? Hindus give it because their daughters then have no portion in inheritance, while Islam ordains a quarter of parent’s estate to be given to daughters. However, as most South-East Asian parents give dowry “instead”, they refrain their daughters form their legal rights. This is a great sin. Verily, God knows the best that should be given to girls & giving property strengthens the girl far more than any dowry.

Infact, Islam ordains men to give groom’s dowry or “Mehr” to their brides. In Arabia, it is embarrassing for the bridegroom to receive dowry from his wife, as it leaves a question mark on his status. Among the Arabs, ‘Mehr’ worths as much as dowry worths here. During a friendly discussion, a newly wed Arab man told me “What right do I have to marry someone, if I cannot provide her a set of dressing table or a bed to sleep?” Hence in Arabia, men don’t marry till they have enough Mehr to give; unlike here where women don’t marry until they have enough dowry to give.

FINAL WORD

On whom does the responsibility lie then? The grooms or their parents, or the bride’s parents? I guess the biggest responsibility lies on the girls themselves, as after all they are the ultimate sufferers of this custom. The girls should step forward and politely but determinately refuse to pay dowry. Usually parents give dowry without even consulting the girls. Many more say that they give dowry to their daughters out of their own happiness. If girls convince their parents to spend this much on something useful, out of their own happiness, why wouldn’t parents, who always desire to see the prosperity of their children, agree?

Dowry is not a tradition, it is a menace. Why don’t we take this heavy cloak off from ourselves and walk on the simple and easy path our religion provides us with, living in prosperity like rest of the world. The lenders and accepters of dowry are both transgressors of the Islamic limits and let it be known to them that Allah doesn’t like the transgressors.

                                                                                                WRITTEN BY: BATOOL.A.HAIDER.

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