DOWRY - An Unnecessary Evil ...
WAR AGAINST DOWRY |
It was a
few hours to dawn and Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) had given his first call against
tyranny. “Verily the truth has come”
whispered Sumaya (A.S), the mother of Ammar bin Yasir (A.S) & the then
first martyr of Islam. “When my oldest sister was born” she flashed back with horror and grief in her
voice “My father buried her deep into the dust. What shame was being the
father of a girl going to bring to him! When
my second sister was born, he did the same to her too. Then when I was born….he
ran screaming out of the house, crying “I cannot do this for the third time!”. Listening to this her husband Yasir (A.S.)
said thoughtfully “But Sumaya…this is our tradition”. At this Sumaya (A.S.) screamed with extreme pain in her
voice “This is NOT a tradition! It
is BEASTLINESS!!” and her voice echoed several times in the dark room,
marking the beginning of the spread of Islam.
DOWRY- An ‘ARYAN’ Custom
Dowry and Aryan Custom |
Dowry or ‘Kanyadana’ is a Hindu custom. “Kanyan” means daughter, “dana” means
gift. It was practiced by the Aryans. The more land they conquered, the more
they brought their religious customs. Since this convention was practiced by the
dignitaries of Hindu Upper Class and the pioneers of Hinduism in Asia, the
Aryans, giving a handsome amount dowry gradually became a status symbol. In
those days, apart from giving the wedding dowry, parents also had to give the
same amount of dowry each time their daughters visited them. Thus daughters usually
never returned to their previous homes, once they got married.
Ever since its initiation, no
one has been able to stop the tenants of this malicious custom from spreading
throughout most Asian societies. Even today, giving dowry is a mandatory part
of the wedding ceremony.
Heinous Crimes & Core Shaking Dowry Related
Statistics-
Software Engineer Killed for Dowry |
The invention
of Ultra Sound technique for medical diagnosis promoted a heinous crime in
India- female feticide. Researchers
in India for the Lancet journal said prenatal selection was causing the loss of
500,000 girls a year. Their research was based on a national survey of
1.1m households in 1998. Alarmingly, this figure continues to increase! In most
countries, women slightly outnumber men, but a separate research for the year
2001 showed that for every 1,000 male babies born in India, there were just 933
female babies. Once again, the chief reason investigated was dowry! Many parents found guilty of killing their
own daughters confessed that having to give enormous amounts of dowry to girls upon
their weddings was one of reasons they planned to get rid of them once and for
all. Strange! Isn’t it? They very well have the courage to take an innocent
life, but don’t find the courage to say ‘NO’, when it comes to dowry.
Moreover, in India there are
close to 15,000 dowry deaths estimated per year. 7,618 dowry deaths were registered in
2006, followed by 8,093 cases in 2007 and 8,172 in 2008. Please also note the
fact that it is estimated that not even 5% of dowry deaths are reported. Out of
the ones that are, most are disguised as suicide or accidents. Hence culprits
get away anyway. Even though dowry has been illegal in India since 1961, there
has been no reduction in this menace.
ECOCOMIC IMPACTS OF DOWRY-
Investment on Dowry V/S Education |
Dowry is
one of the most leading causes of poverty & discomfort in Asia. Many
families start collecting dowry items from the time baby girls are born. This
ranges from simple spoons & crockery items to expensive furniture &
electronics items. Valuable dresses are brought for not only the bride but her
in-laws too; not even bed-sheets & pillow covers are looked over. Well this
is what poor families have got to give. Rich and middle class may even give motorcycles,
cars, flats and plots.
The purchasing power of
parents significantly decreases when they spend so much of their
income on dowry. This tremendously affects the standard of living and economic
growth of parents with too many girls, and branches into even worst
setbacks. Since women usually constitute a larger portion of the population, economical
progress of any country greatly depends upon their education & well being.
Spending so much on dowry means having nothing left to be spent on education.
This is one of the reasons why even in the 21st century, South
Asian countries have an overwhelming number of women with no formal education.
Rich or poor, all give dowry. If they spend this much of wealth on their girls’
education, just imagine what a world of change can that result in!
Muhammad Yunus Nobel Prize winner 2006 stands against dowry practices in Bangladesh. |
Muhammad
Yunus, the 2006 Nobel Peace Prize winner declared on CNN, during the prize
receiving ceremony in Oslo, that poverty could be completely alleviated
from Bangladesh by 2030 via his Micro Credit Loan technique. Further
to this he added that his scheme mainly concentrated on women prosperity and
aimed to catch ‘poverty by throat’. Yunus gives loans to his customers only on
six binding conditions. Two of which are:
- Neither Will You Take Dowry From
Anyone.
- Nor Will You Give Dowry To
Anyone.
‘MEHR’ or the ‘Groom’s Dowry’-
Something that is even stranger, is to ask why do Muslims
& Christians give dowry? Hindus give it because their daughters then have
no portion in inheritance, while Islam ordains a quarter of parent’s estate to
be given to daughters. However, as most South-East Asian parents give dowry
“instead”, they refrain their daughters form their legal rights. This is a
great sin. Verily, God knows the best that should be given to girls &
giving property strengthens the girl far more than any dowry.
Infact,
Islam ordains men to give groom’s dowry or “Mehr” to their
brides. In Arabia, it is embarrassing for the bridegroom to receive dowry
from his wife, as it leaves a question mark on his status. Among the Arabs, ‘Mehr’
worths as much as dowry worths here. During a friendly discussion, a newly wed
Arab man told me “What right do I have to marry someone, if I cannot provide her
a set of dressing table or a bed to sleep?” Hence in Arabia, men don’t marry
till they have enough Mehr to give; unlike here where women don’t marry until
they have enough dowry to give.
FINAL WORD
On whom
does the responsibility lie then? The grooms or their parents, or the bride’s parents?
I guess the biggest responsibility lies on the girls themselves, as after all
they are the ultimate sufferers of this custom. The girls should step forward
and politely but determinately refuse to pay dowry. Usually parents give dowry
without even consulting the girls. Many more say that they give dowry to their
daughters out of their own happiness. If girls convince their parents to spend
this much on something useful, out of their own happiness, why wouldn’t parents,
who always desire to see the prosperity of their children, agree?
Dowry is
not a tradition, it is a menace. Why don’t we take this heavy cloak off from
ourselves and walk on the simple and easy path our religion provides us with,
living in prosperity like rest of the world. The lenders and accepters of dowry
are both transgressors of the Islamic limits and let it be known to them that
Allah doesn’t like the transgressors.
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Tags:
ARYAN custom,
dependency ratio,
Kanyadana,
Karokari,
Muhammad Yunus,
purchasing power,
Sati,
Vatta Satta